9781422283806

SE XUA L OR I ENTAT I ON AND RE L I G I ON 13

deal. Would it be that much worse if his parents found out he was homosexual? Two years later, when Joel was seventeen, he finally revealed to his parents that he was gay. They didn’t seem angry, but two weeks later, Joel’s mother announced that she had made an appointment for him to see a psychologist. “He’s Jewish,” she told Joel, “and he works exclusively with people like you, people who are strugglers.” “Strugglers?” Joel didn’t think he needed to see a psychologist. He guessed that his mom thought a therapist could help him cope with the stress of coming out as a gay Jewish man. “That’s the word the therapist used,” his mother said. “People who are trying to overcome their same-sex attraction so that they can live the Jewish faith. He was very positive. He says he’s never had a failure, that all his clients are eventually able to get over their homosexual urges and go on to have happy marriages.” The psychologist was respectful and pleasant, but Joel was too angry to give him a chance. After a few sessions, though, Joel was starting to feel confused. Maybe the guy was right; maybe he could stop being attracted to other men. Maybe he should. After a few weeks, Joel went to talk to his rabbi . He felt awkward at first, but eventually, he was able to tell the rabbi his whole story. He finished by saying, “I’m not even sure who I am anymore. If I’m gay, then that apparently means I’m not Jewish. I don’t want to lose being Jewish. But at the same time, if being Jewish means I can’t be gay . . . well, I’m not sure I can handle that either.”