9781422288290

Bully on Campus & Online

Bully on Campus & Online Drugs & Alcohol Gunman on Campus Natural Disasters Navigating Cyberspace

Peer Pressure & Relationships Protecting Your Body: Germs, Superbugs, Poison, & Deadly Diseases Road Safety Sports Stranger Danger Terrorism & Perceived Terrorism Threats

Bully on Campus & Online

Kim Etingoff

Mason Crest

Mason Crest 450 Parkway Drive, Suite D

Broomall, PA 19008 www.masoncrest.com

Copyright © 2015 by Mason Crest, an imprint of National Highlights, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission from the publisher.

Printed and bound in the United States of America.

First printing 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Series ISBN: 978-1-4222-3044-2 ISBN: 978-1-4222-3045-9 ebook ISBN: 978-1-4222-8829-0

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Etingoff, Kim. Bully on campus & online / Kim Etingoff. pages cm. — (Safety first) Audience: Grade 4 to 6. Includes index.

ISBN 978-1-4222-3045-9 (hardback) — ISBN 978-1-4222-3044-2 (series) — ISBN 978-1- 4222-8829-0 (ebook) 1. Bullying—Juvenile literature. 2. Bullying in schools—Juvenile literature. 3. Cyberbullying—Juvenile literature. I. Title. II. Title: Bully on campus and online. BF637.B85E85 2014 302.34’3—dc23 2014005462

Contents

Introduction

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1. Real-Life Stories

2. What Makes Bullying Dangerous? 3. Staying Safe and Being Prepared 4. What Can You Do to Stay Safe?

19 27 35 46 47

Find Out More

Index

About the Author & Consultant and Picture Credits

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Introduction N o task is more important than creating safe schools for all children. It should not re- quire an act of courage for parents to send their children to school nor for children to come to school. As adults, we must do everything reasonable to provide a school climate that is safe, secure, and welcoming—an environment where learning can f lourish. The educational effectiveness and the strength of any nation is dependent upon a strong and effective educational system that empowers and prepares young people for meaningful and purposeful lives that will promote economic competitiveness, national defense, and quality of life. Clearly adults are charged with the vital responsibility of creating a positive educational cli- mate. However, the success of young people is also affected by their own participation. The pur- pose of this series of books is to articulate what young adults can do to ensure their own safety, while at the same time educating them as to the steps that educators, parents, and communities are taking to create and maintain safe schools. Each book in the series gives young people tools that will empower them as participants in this process. The result is a model where students have the information they need to work alongside parents, educators, and community leaders to tackle the safety challenges that face young people every day. Perhaps one of the most enduring and yet underrated challenges facing young adults is bully- ing. Ask parents if they can remember the schoolyard bully from when they were in school, and the answers are quite revealing. Unfortunately, the situation is no better today—and new venues for bullying exist in the twenty-first-century world that never existed before. A single bully can intimidate not only a single student but an entire classroom, an entire school, and even an entire community. The problem is underscored by research from the National School Safety Center and the United States Secret Service that indicates that bullying was involved in 80 percent of school shootings over the past two decades. The title in this series that addresses this problem is a valu- able and essential tool for promoting safety and stopping bullying. Another problem that has been highlighted by the media is the threat of violence on our school campuses. In reality, research tells us that schools are the safest place for young people to be. After an incident like Columbine or Sandy Hook, however, it is difficult for the public, including students, to understand that a youngster is a hundred times more likely to be assaulted or killed

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at home or in the community than at school. Students cannot help but absorb the fears that are so prevalent in our society. Therefore, a frank, realistic, discussion of this topic, one that avoids hysteria and exaggeration, is essential for our young people. This series offers a title on this topic that does exactly that. It addresses questions such as: How do you deal with a gunman on the cam- pus? Should you run, hide, or confront? We do not want to scare our children; instead, we want to empower them and reassure them as we prepare them for such a crisis. The book also covers the changing laws and school policies that are being put in place to ensure that students are even safer from the threat of violence in the school. “Stranger danger” is another safety threat that receives a great deal of attention in the modern world. Again, the goal should be to empower rather than terrify our children. The book in this series focusing on this topic provides young readers with the essential information that will help them be “safety smart,” not only at school but also between home and school, at play, and even when they are home alone. Alcohol and drug abuse is another danger that looms over our young people. As many as 10 per- cent of American high school students are alcoholics. Meanwhile, when one student was asked, “Is there a drug problem in your school?” her reply was, “No, I can get all the drugs I want.” A book in this series focuses on this topic, giving young readers the information they need to truly compre- hend that drugs and alcohol are major threats to their safety and well-being. From peer pressure to natural disasters, from road dangers to sports safety, the Safety First series covers a wide range of other modern concerns. Keeping children and our schools safe is not an isolated challenge. It will require all of us working together to create a climate where young people can have safe access to the educational opportunities that will promote the success of all children as they transition into becoming responsible citizens. This series is an essential tool for classrooms, libraries, guidance counselors, and community centers as they face this challenge.

Dr. Ronald Stephens Executive Director National School Safety Center www.schoolsafety.us

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Words to Know verbal: Having to do with words, instead of actions. violated: Failed to respect someone or their rights. mediation: Getting someone else involved in a conflict to help resolve it.

Chapter One

Real-Life Stories

S chool is supposed to be a place where you feel safe to learn new things and make friends. But for many kids, school doesn’t always feel safe. One reason school might feel unsafe is bullying. A bully is anyone who uses power to control other people. A bully might use strength to push someone around. Or he might use the fact he’s popular to convince people to make fun of someone. No matter what kind of bullying is going on or who’s doing the bullying, it’s not OK. You should feel good about who you are, not worry someone is going to make fun of you. You shouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt or upset because of a bully. Not all bullying looks alike. The first step to avoiding or stopping bullying is to know what it looks like. TYPES OF BULLYING

Bullying comes in different forms. Here are a few:

• Verbal bullying. When someone says or even writes hurtful things about others, she is verbally bullying them. Threats, teasing, and name-calling are all kinds of verbal bullying.

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Not all bullying happens in person. Cyberbullying is a growing problem as more and more people of all ages start to use the Internet socially.

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The saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” just isn’t true sometimes. Words can hurt. • Social bullying. Sometimes bullies leave people out of groups. They tell people not to be friends with someone, or they spread rumors about him. Social bullying hurts the relation- ships people have with others. • Physical bullying. Hurting someone or taking something she owns is physical bullying. Hitting, tripping, breaking something, and stealing all count as physical bullying. Some people think this is the only kind of bullying, but that’s not true. Sometimes this kind of bul- lying is called direct bullying, while verbal and social bullying are called indirect bullying. • Cyberbullying. Bullying doesn’t always happen face to face. Cyberbullying happens on the Internet. Sending mean messages online, spreading rumors about someone online, or sending out embarrassing pictures of someone are examples of cyberbullying. No matter the type, bullying happens over and over again to the same person. If you get upset because a friend tells you a painting you made isn’t very good, that’s not bullying. You might be mad or sad, but it only happened once. Your friend isn’t usually so mean. Maybe your friend was having a bad day, or she was grumpy because she was hungry. Hopefully she apologizes later. Bullying is a little different. Let’s say a student sitting next to you in art class tells you your art is awful every day. He paints over your paintings and erases your drawings. He makes you feel bad over and over again. He’s being mean on purpose to make you feel bad. That’s bullying. WHY DO PEOPLE BULLY? When you bully someone, you feel more powerful than the other person. Bullies feel good, be- cause they feel powerful and strong. They make the people they bully feel weak. Many bullies are just looking for attention. They think bullying will make them popular. Some people tell jokes to get attention. Others work really hard at school and get good grades. And a few become bullies. Whenever a bully makes other people feel bad, she gets attention. The person being bullied is paying attention to her. Other people helping her bully or watching her bully are paying attention. Even if the teacher yells at her, she’s still getting attention. All that attention makes a bully feel even more powerful and important. Bullies usually pick on people they think are different from them. They feel the other person’s difference is a threat to them. For example, a bully might pick on someone who has freckles or is really tall. Or someone who dresses a little differently or talks differently. Life isn’t fun for people who get bullied. But sometimes bullies find life hard, too. Things might be hard at home. Parents are yelling or even hurting each other. Or big brothers and sisters are picking on them. The bully at school might be bullied or hurt at home. He takes out his bad feelings on other people by bullying them. Bullying makes him feel better.

Real-Life Stories

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According to the National Center for Education Statistics, there is significantly more bullying in middle school (grades 6, 7, and 8) than there is in senior high school (grades 9–12).

REAL-LIFE BULLYING

If you or someone you know is being bullied, you’re not alone. Lots of kids are bullied. And many of them have shared their stories online. One young person shared his story of being bullied on ReachOut.org, a site that helps kids and teens get through tough times. The storyteller starts off his story by saying, “I knew who the bullies were. They were my best friends. I was bullied from eighth grade to my freshman year.”

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Bullying can start at a young age. Even little kids can be bullies.

Bullies pick on other young people for a lot of reasons. For this young man, bullies made fun of his race. He was Indian. Most of his bullies weren’t Indian. “Every day they picked on me for my race,” he continues. “And for a bit, one person made com- ments implying that I’m gay. They would make jokes and call me names like ‘Gandhi’. . . . I am not gay, and I am accepting of those who are. But, when this person labeled me as gay, I felt, in a way, violated and disrespected. They felt that it was all a joke, but it was torture and abuse to me.” He tried to get his bullies to stop, but they ignored him. They refused to listen to him. Not

Real-Life Stories

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A guidance counselor or another trusted adult can help you if you find yourself in a bad situation.

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