9781422283769

14 COM I NG OUT AND SEEK I NG SUPPORT

for the first time with significant others. For some individuals, this may happen in phases. For example, some people come out to friends early in their lives but wait years before telling their families. There is no right or wrong way to come out. After working through the first two stages, people are finally able to begin Living Openly . Once their friends and families are aware of their identity, LGBT people then make the personal choice of how it will influence their lives. This is an ongoing part of the process and varies significantly depending on the individual. Some people continue to keep their personal lives private, accepting their LGBT identity as only one aspect of themselves. Others embrace their new identity in a much bigger way. We’ve described the three stages of the coming-out process, as iden- tified by the Human Rights Campaign. The Wikihow website offers an even more detailed guide geared especially toward young people, called “How to Come Out as a Gay or Lesbian Teen.” Its steps are as follows: (1) Make sure of your sexual orientation. (2) Make sure you will be safe if you tell people. (3) Before coming out, think of what questions they might ask, and have answers in mind just in case. (4) Start with close friends. (5) Come right out with your statement. (6) Allow time for people to pro- cess and assimilate this revelation. (7) Understand that this is something that will have a huge impact on certain aspects of your life. (8) Live out without being in people’s faces about it. (9) Be able and willing to discuss your orientation with sincerely interested individuals. (10) Remember: Coming out is a process. It takes time—don’t rush. CLOSE-UP: COMING OUT AS A PROCESS